Why is it so that the nice peace loving Taliban like to cooperate with our forces but as long as there are no Shias in the bus?

We are a country that gets closed to being blown up into pieces every once in a while but just then a silver line appears. Those who love this country profoundly and not to mention blindly come across a staggering proof to shout it out loud and clear to the world that it’s all a Controversy to derail us. In the words of late Islamic scholar Dr. Israr Ahmed it comes off as a divine intervention to save the Islamic republic. This is how we’ve been crawling on the footsteps of ‘development’ for past six decades and that’s exactly how we want to keep it going for god knows how many more years to come.

The populist politics that PTI has been trying to pull off is not new. And why shouldn’t they? It works!

Something that touches the hearts (not brains) always seemed to have worked here. This is how the PPP got its ‘awami touch’ in the 70’s. That’s exactly how Muslim League was able to garner votes, i.e. by playing politics of religious fundamentalism.

Historians are convinced that it was not love for religion or the need to freely express their religious beliefs that ensued Muslims to struggle for an independent dominion. The reason was simple; the very foundation of Muslim league was based on the pretext of satisfying enraged and sidelined Muslim princes by giving them at least some sort of say in the corridors of British Raj. This later on evolved into local leaders struggling for power and wealth by demanding for separate electorates and parallel ruling systems for Muslims and Hindus.

Today the tools for gaining political leverage have not changed. We have not moved an inch since then as the formula is oft repeated. I might be over simplifying the scenario here but why it is that most political parties always start off with rhetoric instigating and stoking preexisting ethnic or religious differences rather than promising something very basic to the masses.

Be it the law of thermodynamics or evolution nothing seems to work here as long as the national sovereignty and honor is concerned. Perhaps that is why our Shaheens seem to have skipped later stages of cognitive development and end up endorsing only those things that their peers love to hear. So much for peer pressure a recent entry amongst our saviors, The Great khan, in one of his Zaid Hamid moments, blatantly ignored ground realities and announced that he is all set to wage war against NATO forces if they don’t stop drones. Anything that does not fit into the jingoistic narrative of PTI is a grand controversy yet an obviously meek attempt to stop them from sparkling pixie dust of eternal peace and harmony on Taliban.

Now we are at a point that the second most popular political party finds it mandatory to indulge in public display of affection with militants in order to ensure safety of its workers in long march. Measly condemnations against violent attacks and reluctance in directly blaming Taliban are enough to establish a dangerous proposition that negotiating with militant outfits would mean nothing less than giving them a fair share of power and representation in the parliament in future. Those illegitimate militant babies that Pakistan gave birth to are all grown up now and want to reclaim the lost glories their predecessors enjoyed in the 80's. This time without daddy's help!

In this cute little love triangle of JI, TTP and PTI, the followers seem to ignore that the war is not just limited to FATA or Wana. This war is indeed their war, a struggle to keep the shaky ideological foundations of a mildly educated urbanite intact. The fact of the matter is that JI and TTP enjoy considerable following in other parts of Pakistan as Jihadists are recruited from parts of Punjab and Karachi as well. Talking of controversies and twisted justifications, one is also compelled to ask that how Uzbeks, Chechens and Arabs were forced to seek revenge against infidels and came here for jihad? How is it possible that the bad Taliban’s were CIA and RAW agents just some time back and now suddenly they are enraged tribal men trying to teach NATO forces a lesson by maintaining their strongholds where there was no NATO or Pakistan military bases in the first place? Why is it so that the nice peace loving Taliban like to cooperate with our forces but as long as there are no Shias in the bus? Before you go on to stand in the line for acquiring 'bahir ka' visa because 'halat kaharb hein' may I ask why this realization that everything is a conspiracy have so far failed to help us getting rid of the 'imperialists'. Feeling dizzy by now? Yes same here.

So next time before you start feeling asphyxiated counting all the dirty conspiracies that surround us please include your apologist and jingoistic mentality as the mother of all controversies in the list. That might help us!

Mariam Goraya is an annoying liberal Fascist and a feminist whiner and has special interest in  political satire, feminism,  Indo-Pak history. She is studying Masters in Environmental Science in University of Cologne, she tweets at  @MariamGoraya