I’m no scholar of my religion, and neither are you. So you shouldn’t be asking me all these questions

With the advent of countless social media outlets, we have plenty of intellectuals debating religion. Following is an imaginary excerpt from a debate, taking place between two fictional individuals.

Disclaimer: If you are easily offended by anti-religious views then read no further. The characters in this article are fictional; any resemblance to real person(s) is a funny coincidence.

Characters:

‘Ms. For Religion’ is a medical doctor by education but a housewife by profession; her knowledge on religion is what she was taught in her grade school. She can read the Holy Scripture but cannot understand it. She strongly thinks that her religion can never be wrong. Also, science, in her opinion, is full of errors. She bases that claim about science on the fact that she attended a medical school and holds a MBBS degree.

‘Mr. Against Religion’ is an engineer by profession. He has recently finished reading some works by Richard Dawkins, Harris and the like, and seen plenty of controversial videos on Youtube. He thinks he is a true intellectual.

The Debate:

Ms. For: Let me start by saying that my religion is the most beautiful; it was the first ever religion to tell us through the Holy Scriptures that humans have two genders: male and female, it’s only now that science is discovering that we indeed have males and females amongst us. The Scripture has also told us a gazillion years ago, mind you; that the sun shines and as we all know, science is just beginning to find out that the sun indeed shines. So it is clear that our scripture holds all the sciences already. All modern scientists are dumbfounded when they learn that this has been in our scriptures for gazillions of years. Therefore, all the people who are criticizing my religion should shut up. My holy scripture cannot be incorrect never ever!

Mr. Against: A divine being had to tell humans that there are males and females and that the sun shines, really? Couldn’t it be deduced by very basic general knowledge that there are male and female human beings, and that the sun shines just by looking up in the sky? I don’t see any divine knowledge in that. You do know that older religions also mentioned about sun shining, right? By the way, sun doesn’t just shine because it’s the fun thing to do, it shines because of nuclear fusion that takes place in its core which emits huge quantity of energy, hence we see it glowing bright. Where is that mentioned in your scripture?

Ms. For: You’re an immoral person! You should watch Dr. Blavir Zanik’s Youtube clip, he has explained in great detail about how the Holy Scripture has foretold all the sciences. Nuclear fusion is also mentioned in our scripture

Mr. Against: Well Dr Blavir manipulates translations and interpretations and most of the time wrongfully quotes the Holy Scriptures but no one questions him thinking he somehow holds limitless knowledge. Anyway, I’ll ask you something else, how do you defend your religion’s views on women?

Ms. For: First of all, how dare you say anything against Dr. Blavir? You’re a blasphemer! Dr. Blavir is the supreme authority on my religion; he knows everything in the minutest detail. Have you not seen him debate those misguided non-religious people? Did you not see the whole audience going berserk and clapping their palms off when he made a point? That proves he knows more than you or me. As for women in my religion, they have been given the best of rights. Gazillion years ago when my religion came about, women were rotting on the streets; it was only my religion that got men to have those rotting women serve them. This way those women found a place to sleep and serve their masters. Women, as you know, are very weak beings and need to serve men to survive.

Mr. Against: Are you being serious? Women are humans, just like men, they have all the capabilities as men; they don’t have to serve men to survive. We have many examples of modern day women performing jobs equally as their male counterparts in almost every field. Women may have physically smaller brains than men, but did you know that women’s brains have more neural connections than men’s, making women’s brains slightly more efficient? You are a female medical doctor; you should already know all this.

Ms For: Again you’re just blabbering. It is written that the religious figures of the past kept women as their servants. Are you saying those religious figures were wrong? How dare you! My religion also says that servant women are the best among all people and will certainly be rewarded in the afterlife. Which other religion gives such high regard to their women? Also, the scripture clearly says that women were created after men to serve men. Mr. Tazalashar’s interpretation is evident of this fact, by the way.

Mr. Against: Men were created before women? Modern science has proved, through theory of evolution that humans weren’t created, they evolved from primitive ancestors and no one gender came before the other. Your point about reward for servant women in the after-life is nothing but a rhetorical statement to keep women from realizing the gross injustice against them and from revolting against men. By the way, how can you be sure that the interpretation of Mr. Tazalashar is absolutely correct? Isn’t he also a human and can make mistakes in interpreting?

Ms. For: I’m no scholar of my religion, and neither are you. So you shouldn’t be asking me all these questions, you’re clearly misguided and should read the scripture more. As for evolution, it is just a theory and can never be proved. It is so stupid, if we evolved from monkeys, then why are there still monkeys? I must go now. I am busy.

Mr. Against: As soon as you run out of answers, you suddenly realize you have stuff to take care of. Bravo!